Time For a Joke

Other music, TV, films and general interest
Black Wings

Re: Time For a Joke

Post by Black Wings »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Picard, can you post a farther joke for old times sake?

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Sole Survivor
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by Sole Survivor »

I was on a plane once, and the pilot gave his final speech ending in "enjoy your stay and thank you for flying BA" but he left the microphone on and subsequently proceeded to tell his mate "I'm busting for a dump so badly and I cant wait to shag the arse off of that new stewardess",on hearing that he'd left the tannoy on the stewardess sprinted from the back of the plane to warn him but fell arse over head when tripping over an old girls bag, the old lady peered over her seat at the prostrate woman and said "there's no rush love, he wants a dump first!"

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Innuendoes
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by Innuendoes »

Sole Survivor wrote: Wed Feb 26, 2020 9:49 am I was on a plane once, and the pilot gave his final speech ending in "enjoy your stay and thank you for flying BA" but he left the microphone on and subsequently proceeded to tell his mate "I'm busting for a dump so badly and I cant wait to shag the arse off of that new stewardess",on hearing that he'd left the tannoy on the stewardess sprinted from the back of the plane to warn him but fell arse over head when tripping over an old girls bag, the old lady peered over her seat at the prostrate woman and said "there's no rush love, he wants a dump first!"
:o :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Cool Cat
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by Cool Cat »

Sole Survivor wrote: Wed Feb 26, 2020 9:49 am I was on a plane once, and the pilot gave his final speech ending in "enjoy your stay and thank you for flying BA" but he left the microphone on and subsequently proceeded to tell his mate "I'm busting for a dump so badly and I cant wait to shag the arse off of that new stewardess",on hearing that he'd left the tannoy on the stewardess sprinted from the back of the plane to warn him but fell arse over head when tripping over an old girls bag, the old lady peered over her seat at the prostrate woman and said "there's no rush love, he wants a dump first!"
:lol: :lol:

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ogre t raylot
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by ogre t raylot »

What do you call the man who built a guitar out if matchsticks.....












Image

:ugeek:

carolb57
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by carolb57 »

From Jake Tapper (CNN talk show host):

“@jaketapper *Fergalicious comes on radio*

daughter, 12: I like this song, who sings it?

me: Fergie!

daughter: Who's Fergie?

me: She used to be with the Black-Eyed Peas.

son, 10: Dad we don't know your old man bands! We don't know Black-Eyed Peas or Moldy Corn!

me: Moldy Corn?”

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Innuendoes
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by Innuendoes »

Due to the coronavirus the Madison County Scanner Page is closed. All crime will not happen and everyone will behave. :lol:

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JLP
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by JLP »

Went into my local supermarket earlier. Was shocked to see a man and woman with trolleys crammed with soap, tissues, hand sanitizer and so on. I called them a pair of selfish pricks and lectured them on considering other people who needed such products.

They said thank you for your concernsir, Now can we please get on with stocking up the shelves. :lol:

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Innuendoes
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Re: Time For a Joke

Post by Innuendoes »

Picard wrote: Mon Mar 16, 2020 10:26 am Went into my local supermarket earlier. Was shocked to see a man and woman with trolleys crammed with soap, tissues, hand sanitizer and so on. I called them a pair of selfish pricks and lectured them on considering other people who needed such products.

They said thank you for your concernsir, Now can we please get on with stocking up the shelves. :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Black Wings

Re: Time For a Joke

Post by Black Wings »

Picard wrote: Mon Mar 16, 2020 10:26 am Went into my local supermarket earlier. Was shocked to see a man and woman with trolleys crammed with soap, tissues, hand sanitizer and so on. I called them a pair of selfish pricks and lectured them on considering other people who needed such products.

They said thank you for your concernsir, Now can we please get on with stocking up the shelves. :lol:
I'm going to pass that along to my two brothers since they work in grocery stores :lol:

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