Nice effort, but you've basically illustrated perfectly why Queen were such a great band by lacking the key element:'Changes'. The 'changes' in the songs, the unexpected moments, the time signature aberrations, the vocal interludes,the histrionic sonic yelps etc. Repetitive metal riffs have their place in music but ultimately repetition is boring. Music is all about keeping the listener's interest, not bludgeoning them into submission.
‘...and I find myself thinkin', well, what would you do?’