Time for a joke

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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Tarkus » Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:24 pm

Stuck in the middle witchoooo.... :whistle:
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Tarkus » Tue Dec 15, 2015 6:20 pm

Image
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Tarkus » Sun Dec 20, 2015 5:35 pm

Me and the wife stopped at the services recently for some breakfast. We got two fry ups, two coffees and two jam doughnuts. I got to the cashier and I said, "I'm sorry, love, but I only have a £50 note."
"That's okay," she said, "just put the doughnuts back."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That's John, that's Dave and that's Danny. They were all shot and killed. They went far too young".

To civilized people, that's your grandad telling you about the war.

To Americans, it's your dad showing you his class photo.... :lookround:
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Fri Feb 19, 2016 8:45 am

;)
Love and respect to T.S :D
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~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
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And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Wed Mar 02, 2016 9:01 pm

:!:
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~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
icy
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And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:50 am

:lol:
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~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
icy
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And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby JLP » Thu Jun 09, 2016 7:02 pm

Just seen this on Facebook and nearly pissed myself laughing.

Just realised that the final of euro 2016 for which I have two tickets clashes with my wedding day.

So if anyone wants to go in my place, the church is St Andrews in Brighton and the girl is called Sarah.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Come on you Tigers.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Two sharp pencils » Thu Jun 09, 2016 9:15 pm

JLP wrote:Just seen this on Facebook and nearly pissed myself laughing.

Just realised that the final of euro 2016 for which I have two tickets clashes with my wedding day.

So if anyone wants to go in my place, the church is St Andrews in Brighton and the girl is called Sarah.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



I heard a similar joke which goes....... A man is sat in his seat for the FA cup final when a guy sitting a couple of seats away says to the man " Can you believe it someone is not using their seat for the FA cup Final " The man explains to the guy that the empty seat was his wife's & they both attended the cup final every year until she died. The guy responds by saying " I thought maybe one of your relatives or friends might have come with you today " The man replies " They would have but they are all at the funeral " .......
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Tarkus » Sun Sep 11, 2016 11:42 pm

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."

:lookround:
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Thu Dec 08, 2016 4:56 am

:lol:
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~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
icy
We Are The Champions
 
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And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:26 am

Silly but funny :lol:
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~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
icy
We Are The Champions
 
User avatar

 

And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
Posts: 15293
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby JLP » Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:17 pm

I think my wife is dealing drugs. :shock: There was a message on the answerphone today. Some bloke asking if the dope had gone yet?
Come on you Tigers.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Tarkus » Mon Feb 13, 2017 2:29 pm

A man sees a sign on a door that says zoo written on a piece of cardboard
Curious he goes in
The zoo only has one animal and it's a dog.





















...It was a Shitzu. :P
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby action » Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:24 pm

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Re: Time for a joke

Postby action » Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:25 pm

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Last edited by action on Sun May 07, 2017 6:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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