Time for a joke

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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Capt. Den Ronson » Tue Oct 03, 2017 6:13 pm

action wrote:Image


That's not fair. Nor is a black man's bum.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby sacko » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:23 pm

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Last edited by sacko on Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby sacko » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:23 pm

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Last edited by sacko on Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby sacko » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:24 pm

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Last edited by sacko on Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby sacko » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:25 pm

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Last edited by sacko on Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby sacko » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:26 pm

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Last edited by sacko on Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Sole Survivor » Fri Dec 08, 2017 5:18 pm

A little boy is out in the yard with his grandpa.
The boy finds a worm and tells his grandpa, "Hey grandpa! Bet ya five bucks I can get the worm back into its hole."
The grandpa, knowing it is too limp to go back in the hole agrees. The boy runs into the house and comes out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is stiff and puts it easily back into its hole and looks to his grandpa, "Pay up!"
His grandpa hands him five dollars and heads inside with the hairspray.Thirty minutes later he comes back out and he hands the boy another five dollars.The boy replies, "Grandpa, you already gave me the money. Don't you remember?"
His grandpa replies, "Yeah I know, that's from grandma." :lookround:
"Hold on to life, for in moments it can fade away."- Asia, Nothing's Forever
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Kes » Sun Dec 10, 2017 7:18 pm

sacko wrote:what to do when your mother-in-law knocks on the window?

turn the over a little higher


Might have been a little bit funnier if you'd said "oven" instead.
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby Lemmy » Mon Dec 18, 2017 2:07 am

Jokes on Communism only work if everybody gets it.

Never share a joke with a kleptomaniac, they take things... litliterally.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby JLP » Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:28 pm

Walking home the other night, I kickers bottle lying in the path. To my surprise, out popped a genie. He told me that I could have one wish, as long as it was reasonable and achievable. I pondered for a moment then told him I would like to spend a romantic evening withKylie in a secluded country hotel, a big four poster bed, a roaring Logfire and some ice cold champagne.

He looked at me and said it had to be achievable so I had to have another wish. Ok I said, just get everyone on QOL to stop acting like twats and stop arguing. He pondered on this for a moment then took out his mobile phone and said Kylie, are you free next Saturday night?
Come on you Tigers.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby bigV » Wed Jan 10, 2018 1:07 pm

JLP wrote:Walking home the other night, I kickers bottle lying in the path. To my surprise, out popped a genie. He told me that I could have one wish, as long as it was reasonable and achievable. I pondered for a moment then told him I would like to spend a romantic evening withKylie in a secluded country hotel, a big four poster bed, a roaring Logfire and some ice cold champagne.

He looked at me and said it had to be achievable so I had to have another wish. Ok I said, just get everyone on QOL to stop acting like twats and stop arguing. He pondered on this for a moment then took out his mobile phone and said Kylie, are you free next Saturday night?


:lol:

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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Wed Jan 10, 2018 8:47 pm

JLP wrote:Walking home the other night, I kickers bottle lying in the path. To my surprise, out popped a genie. He told me that I could have one wish, as long as it was reasonable and achievable. I pondered for a moment then told him I would like to spend a romantic evening withKylie in a secluded country hotel, a big four poster bed, a roaring Logfire and some ice cold champagne.

He looked at me and said it had to be achievable so I had to have another wish. Ok I said, just get everyone on QOL to stop acting like twats and stop arguing. He pondered on this for a moment then took out his mobile phone and said Kylie, are you free next Saturday night?

:lol: :lol:
See, it's good for something :lol:
~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
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And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:40 am

Taryn wrote:Laughter is good for you so post all your jokes here and lets have a giggle.

Here's one to start us off, got it in an email today so thought I would share it with you.



Sneezing on an aeroplane

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.

The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes
passed when the woman sneezed yet again

As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've
sneezed three times, wipe your nose and then shudder violently.

Are you ok?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. " I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded, "Pepper."

Image



Miss you. Hoping you are well, Taryn.
~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
icy
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And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby JLP » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:32 am

Imagine the joy in the world if a man's willy was made of chocolate and ejaculated Prosecco.
Come on you Tigers.
 
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Re: Time for a joke

Postby icy » Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:03 pm

JLP wrote:Imagine the joy in the world if a man's willy was made of chocolate and ejaculated Prosecco.

Beer be good chocolate and not the cheap crap :lol:
Oh heck, I'm laughing harder than I should be :lol:
~Godspeed little one~
~Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here~

~Sleep in peace old friend for me you'll never die~
 
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And the wounded skies above say it's much too late

      
 
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