Gay Men More Promiscuous?

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Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby musicalprostitute » Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:19 pm

And the reason I ask is because virtually all the gay men I have ever known (friends and close family) have normally lived quite promiscuously, and nearly all of them have been unfaithful in relationships. The way I have always seen it is that sleeping with someone else whilst in a relationship is more acceptable in a gay relationship than it is in a straight relationship (and many of the gay men I have known have said as much to me).

Now before anyone jumps down my neck, I am not saying just because the gay men I have known throughout my life are like this, each and every single gay person is! I am merely putting this question out there to gay people and friends of gay people on here who would like to contribute in a mature and rational fashion.

So, any opinions?
 
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Re: Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby icy » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:36 pm

From what I've seen, in a word ~ No.
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Re: Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby musicalprostitute » Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:44 pm

icy wrote:From what I've seen, in a word ~ No.


Cool.
 
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Re: Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby Simon » Thu Mar 28, 2013 7:06 pm

So you mean promiscuous as having sex with other men while being in a relationship either with or without consent from the partner? Or general having much sex with different people without necessarily being in a relationship.
I also had the same discussion with a friend of mine. From what I have heard in my surroundings I tend to agree with the theory. That might of course also be because gay men tend to reveal this more easily than heterosexual. However, I still think that (and here I will generalize and not draw information from empiric reseach, and I will use stereotypes as well, so fire at will)
it might be easier to have casual sex with a man without any consequences. Yes, women want to have sex as much as men, but a lot of men don't make such a fuss about it, women, even if they are just looking for an enjoyable night, might not show that too obviously.
So, let's just say John is a heterosexual guy with a girlfriend. She is out of town, relationship isn't working, and John is horny and says to himself "I am young, I wanna get laid... nothing to it, just the ole in/out in/out and be done with it. So, he might go to a prostitute. But, as George Costanza said, this is just like using a parking garage. Why pay, if with a little effort, ou could get the same service for free? Also, not that cool to pay a woman for sex. And costly too. So John hits the clubs and late night bars. So, he needs to find a woman who a) is attractive to him b) fancies him c) is up for some naughtiness and d) is ok for it being a one night thing without any consequences, because John does not want to end his relationship. Depending on the looks and charm of John It is not impossible to achieve this. But it is not that easy, and there's always the risk.
Bill, however, is gay. His boyfriend's out of town too (what a coincidence). Bill says to himself "Damn it, I want some cock!" and off he goes. He does not hit the same bars and clubs as John. Bill hits the gay bars and parties. The majority of guys there are gay too. And being in a club, chances are that they are looking for fun too. And if that doesn't work, there's always the option of surfing the gay social networks that show you where the guys are that wouldn't terribly be annoyed if sex happened right now.
Of course I am exaggerating... or am I? From my experience, men have slightly more problems with commiting to a relationship but don't necessarily want to live like a monk.

In a nutshell, I think that heterosexual guys think about being promiscuous as much as gay men. But the latter might have it a bit more easy to actually BE it.
I don't know if "Queer is Folk" is right when it states right at the beginning that "it's all about sex!" I mean, it certainly is not. But being gay is still in most cultures being perceived as not being the standard, the normal, the average thing. And being gay means that the differentiation is the sexual orientation. If that plays a role? I don't know. Heterosexual are only seldom perceived by the majority of people as people having sex with the opposite sex. " A gay person however might face this reduction of his personality: "Oh, he is gay, he sleeps with guys!". So maybe it is just the perception of people that perpetuate this stereotype of gay men being more promiscuous. And maybe my thoughts above are inaccurrate as hell and an insult to the gay community.

And on a sidenote: I know gay people who fuck around, I know gay people who have steady relationships for years, I know heterosexual people who fuck around and heterosexual people who have steady relationships with no funny business.
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Re: Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby musicalprostitute » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:49 pm

Simon wrote:So you mean promiscuous as having sex with other men while being in a relationship either with or without consent from the partner? Or general having much sex with different people without necessarily being in a relationship.
I also had the same discussion with a friend of mine. From what I have heard in my surroundings I tend to agree with the theory. That might of course also be because gay men tend to reveal this more easily than heterosexual. However, I still think that (and here I will generalize and not draw information from empiric reseach, and I will use stereotypes as well, so fire at will)
it might be easier to have casual sex with a man without any consequences. Yes, women want to have sex as much as men, but a lot of men don't make such a fuss about it, women, even if they are just looking for an enjoyable night, might not show that too obviously.
So, let's just say John is a heterosexual guy with a girlfriend. She is out of town, relationship isn't working, and John is horny and says to himself "I am young, I wanna get laid... nothing to it, just the ole in/out in/out and be done with it. So, he might go to a prostitute. But, as George Costanza said, this is just like using a parking garage. Why pay, if with a little effort, ou could get the same service for free? Also, not that cool to pay a woman for sex. And costly too. So John hits the clubs and late night bars. So, he needs to find a woman who a) is attractive to him b) fancies him c) is up for some naughtiness and d) is ok for it being a one night thing without any consequences, because John does not want to end his relationship. Depending on the looks and charm of John It is not impossible to achieve this. But it is not that easy, and there's always the risk.
Bill, however, is gay. His boyfriend's out of town too (what a coincidence). Bill says to himself "Damn it, I want some cock!" and off he goes. He does not hit the same bars and clubs as John. Bill hits the gay bars and parties. The majority of guys there are gay too. And being in a club, chances are that they are looking for fun too. And if that doesn't work, there's always the option of surfing the gay social networks that show you where the guys are that wouldn't terribly be annoyed if sex happened right now.
Of course I am exaggerating... or am I? From my experience, men have slightly more problems with commiting to a relationship but don't necessarily want to live like a monk.

In a nutshell, I think that heterosexual guys think about being promiscuous as much as gay men. But the latter might have it a bit more easy to actually BE it.
I don't know if "Queer is Folk" is right when it states right at the beginning that "it's all about sex!" I mean, it certainly is not. But being gay is still in most cultures being perceived as not being the standard, the normal, the average thing. And being gay means that the differentiation is the sexual orientation. If that plays a role? I don't know. Heterosexual are only seldom perceived by the majority of people as people having sex with the opposite sex. " A gay person however might face this reduction of his personality: "Oh, he is gay, he sleeps with guys!". So maybe it is just the perception of people that perpetuate this stereotype of gay men being more promiscuous. And maybe my thoughts above are inaccurrate as hell and an insult to the gay community.

And on a sidenote: I know gay people who fuck around, I know gay people who have steady relationships for years, I know heterosexual people who fuck around and heterosexual people who have steady relationships with no funny business.


Very good post, mate. I do agree with you concerning men and promiscuousity, especially, and I quote 'I think that heterosexual guys think about being promiscuous as much as gay men. But the latter might have it a bit more easy to actually BE it.' I have often thought along these lines. I have always thought that straight men would be far more promiscuous if they had enough opportunities.

With regards to gay men and open relationships: virtually all of the gay men I have ever known throughout my life have told me that in most gay relationships it is more acceptable to have open relationships (of course, this doesn't mean all gay men!).
 
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Re: Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby Simon » Fri Mar 29, 2013 10:17 am

I am not too sure if I really understand the concept of "open relationships". Basically it means that you have a partner, but it is agreed upon that having sex with other people is permitted, right? I think there is always the risk that someone just agrees on such an understanding to not completely lose the partner. That would not really be a good foundation for a relationship. A couple of months ago I read an article in a rather highbrow magazine on open relationships, albeit in heterosexual relationships, and there the girl was not convinced that she really could cope with this understanding. But once she had a little bit on the side as well, she was convinced and does not want to miss it. Hypocrite... :lol:
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Re: Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby funkyrake » Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:55 pm

There are many ways of being permiscuous. Online chats, porn, massage with sex, meeting underage
girls and boys, watching porn vids of men/women and underage youth. Mature sex online and more.
So no way.

I just think how wonderful it would have been if Jim Hutton and Freddie actually had married each other!

OK, America, let's pass equal marriage for same sex couples!!
 
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Re: Gay Men More Promiscuous?

Postby Promite » Sat May 04, 2013 2:24 am

musicalprostitute wrote:Very good post, mate. I do agree with you concerning men and promiscuousity, especially, and I quote 'I think that heterosexual guys think about being promiscuous as much as gay men. But the latter might have it a bit more easy to actually BE it.' I have often thought along these lines. I have always thought that straight men would be far more promiscuous if they had enough opportunities.

With regards to gay men and open relationships: virtually all of the gay men I have ever known throughout my life have told me that in most gay relationships it is more acceptable to have open relationships (of course, this doesn't mean all gay men!).


I think it's true going by gay men I have known personally. This quote is not from one I have known personally.

'Sometimes it's hard to, like, be a boyfriend for somebody, because you don't know what that means. What does that mean? Especially if you haven't been in many relationships. And being in the gay community, we don't grow up with any role models for that. We don't know what we're supposed to be. And I think that's funny because there's so much -- again, it's something that's being evolved out of, but in the gay community there's so much promiscuity. It's socially accepted in the gay community to be promiscuous. It's like, oh, we're both men, we're supposed to want to fuck all the time and cheat on each other. And it's OK, open relationships are fine because we're all men. And I'm not judging that, but I don't think that's for me. I don't think it's emotionally healthy.'
 
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