It's time for a change of mods

Welcome to Queenonline. This is the place to report problems, or give feedback about this message board or the entire Queenonline site.

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby fairydandy » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:44 pm

JLP wrote:
fairydandy wrote:JLP clearly can't make a decision on it. Or more likely, he realises that I am actually right and doesn't want to say so.



Or he went to get something to eat.

If I said you should apologise, you would go ballistic. If I said you shouldn't apologise, I think you would gloat. Therefore I shall maintain my earlier stance and stay neutral.


I wouldn't go "ballistic" at all. I would ask you to explain to me at what point a 'sorry' should be inserted and for what reason. I'm not one to gloat either....I have known I was right all the way through this..and it's a bit of a chore to even have to explain my innocence to be honest.
 
fairydandy
Somebody To Love
 
User avatar

 
 
Posts: 8000
Images: 0
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:37 pm
Gender: None specified
Has thanked: 3 times
Been thanked: 401 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby action » Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:24 pm

Bad Guy wrote:I always find it funny that we can go weeks/months without action posting yet when someone slags of the mod/admin team, he appears from nowhere spouting his usual crap.


you never know when i will act 8)

really? is it so long that i keep from posting? :shock: one wouldnt notice how time flies 8) i'm still checking the site daily, lurking to see if an argument should arise :P
the greatest among you will be your servant
 
action
Don't Stop Me Now
 
User avatar

 

woe to you, teachers of the law, you hypocrites!

      
 
Posts: 2245
Images: 0
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:58 am
Gender: None specified
Has thanked: 174 times
Been thanked: 192 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby Belle Leisha » Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:54 pm

Pastiegate. :lol:

It looks like whoever apologises first is going to win this.
But Eden is burning, either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage, of the changing of the guard


Image
 
Belle Leisha
Don't Stop Me Now
 
User avatar

 

I'm a Restless Kinda Girl, There's No Turning Back Now!

      
 
Posts: 4161
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:02 am
Location: Birmingham, UK
Gender: Female
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 0 time

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby fairydandy » Wed Apr 06, 2011 7:00 pm

Belle Leisha wrote:Pastiegate. :lol:

It looks like whoever apologises first is going to win this.


It's not really about winning Belle, it's about what is right and what is wrong. I am absolutely adamant that I have nothing to apologise for and I believe I have given a very full account of how I arrived at that decision above.

People daren't answer for fear of taking sides, but the evidence is all there. What is to apologise for?
 
fairydandy
Somebody To Love
 
User avatar

 
 
Posts: 8000
Images: 0
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:37 pm
Gender: None specified
Has thanked: 3 times
Been thanked: 401 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby Elessar » Wed Apr 06, 2011 7:15 pm

It's easy to see both sides of the argument I think. fd was posting about Pastie's gloomy posts, and let's face it, they were gloomy - the discussion was about whether or not the gloom was justified by the state of the country or not. Pastie on the other hand hinted at a more personal reason for any possible gloominess, and fd didn't pick up on it, which of course to someone dealing with something traumatic could be seen as hugely insensitive.

However, as I said very soon after the argument started, we can't all be expected to check that people are okay before we argue with them. I had this very argument a few months ago, when I was accused of being insensitive because of the way I responded to someone else's post. I made no apologies for it at the time and make none now - I argue with posts, not with posters. The poster behind the post is something completely different, and clearly if they were to discuss their personal problems with me, my tone would be completely different compared to if they wanted to discuss our opposing views on politics.

I doubt he'll mind me saying this - I PMed fd with a link to the thread from the old board which showed someone else doing roughly what fd did to Pastie, to me. I could have absolutely pounced on their post and made the other person (who there's no point in me naming) feel absolutely awful, but instead I said no worries, and focused on the actual discusison in hand. I'm not suggesting that my way was the "right way", I'm simply pointing out when someone is offended, that requires two people - the offender and the offendee. The same principle holds true of the WeeMann/fd argument. fd didn't have to be offended by WeeMann's post. Equally, WeeMann didn't have to be offended by fd's initial one. Sometimes we take offence due to an immediate, uncontrollable, visceral response to something absolutely disgusting that we experience. Far more often, we choose to take offence for any number of reasons - it might be a good way to show our position on an issue, it might make a good point, it might scare someone into backing down, or it might simply be that we don't like the other person. I don't know what it was on any of these recent occasions, but I doubt it was the first option in any of them.
 
Elessar
I Want To Break Free
 
User avatar

 
 
Posts: 10055
Images: 0
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:35 pm
Gender: Male
Has thanked: 39 times
Been thanked: 143 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby fairydandy » Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:12 pm

Elessar wrote:It's easy to see both sides of the argument I think. fd was posting about Pastie's gloomy posts, and let's face it, they were gloomy - the discussion was about whether or not the gloom was justified by the state of the country or not. Pastie on the other hand hinted at a more personal reason for any possible gloominess, and fd didn't pick up on it, which of course to someone dealing with something traumatic could be seen as hugely insensitive.


I still don't understand what I was supposed to do if I did take the hint? I can't actually see Pastie's side either. I just don't get it, not any of it. I'm seriously lost by it all and no one seems to be able to tell me where I went wrong. I won't be accepting that I am wrong though, because I am entirely innocent.

The gloomsgate discussion was just one of those things that we do on here...it was a nothing of a conversation. I wouldn't know if Pastie had personal issues and he wouldn't know if I did. Like you, I just dealt with the previous post.

At what point in the proceedings was I expected by Pastie to say 'I'm sorry' and for what reason, that's what i want to know?
 
fairydandy
Somebody To Love
 
User avatar

 
 
Posts: 8000
Images: 0
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:37 pm
Gender: None specified
Has thanked: 3 times
Been thanked: 401 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby Elessar » Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:17 pm

fairydandy wrote:
Elessar wrote:It's easy to see both sides of the argument I think. fd was posting about Pastie's gloomy posts, and let's face it, they were gloomy - the discussion was about whether or not the gloom was justified by the state of the country or not. Pastie on the other hand hinted at a more personal reason for any possible gloominess, and fd didn't pick up on it, which of course to someone dealing with something traumatic could be seen as hugely insensitive.


I still don't understand what I was supposed to do if I did take the hint? I can't actually see Pastie's side either. I just don't get it, not any of it. I'm seriously lost by it all and no one seems to be able to tell me where I went wrong. I won't be accepting that I am wrong though, because I am entirely innocent.

The gloomsgate discussion was just one of those things that we do on here...it was a nothing of a conversation. I wouldn't know if Pastie had personal issues and he wouldn't know if I did. Like you, I just dealt with the previous post.

At what point in the proceedings was I expected by Pastie to say 'I'm sorry' and for what reason, that's what i want to know?


I'm not sure either. Clearly backing down wouldn't be appropriate, because it had nothing to do whatsoever with your discussion of the economy. I guess maybe an empathetic acknowledgement or something...I dunno.

It's a difficult one, because it's hard to say to someone that they shouldn't be offended/upset when they've just given an extremely good reason to be either of those things. I think the point is that none of it is your fault - you were just arguing about the economy, and you have a more cheerful outlook on it than Pastie.
 
Elessar
I Want To Break Free
 
User avatar

 
 
Posts: 10055
Images: 0
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:35 pm
Gender: Male
Has thanked: 39 times
Been thanked: 143 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby JLP » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:00 pm

Elessar wrote:
fairydandy wrote:
Elessar wrote:It's easy to see both sides of the argument I think. fd was posting about Pastie's gloomy posts, and let's face it, they were gloomy - the discussion was about whether or not the gloom was justified by the state of the country or not. Pastie on the other hand hinted at a more personal reason for any possible gloominess, and fd didn't pick up on it, which of course to someone dealing with something traumatic could be seen as hugely insensitive.


I still don't understand what I was supposed to do if I did take the hint? I can't actually see Pastie's side either. I just don't get it, not any of it. I'm seriously lost by it all and no one seems to be able to tell me where I went wrong. I won't be accepting that I am wrong though, because I am entirely innocent.

The gloomsgate discussion was just one of those things that we do on here...it was a nothing of a conversation. I wouldn't know if Pastie had personal issues and he wouldn't know if I did. Like you, I just dealt with the previous post.

At what point in the proceedings was I expected by Pastie to say 'I'm sorry' and for what reason, that's what i want to know?


I'm not sure either. Clearly backing down wouldn't be appropriate, because it had nothing to do whatsoever with your discussion of the economy. I guess maybe an empathetic acknowledgement or something...I dunno.

It's a difficult one, because it's hard to say to someone that they shouldn't be offended/upset when they've just given an extremely good reason to be either of those things. I think the point is that none of it is your fault - you were just arguing about the economy, and you have a more cheerful outlook on it than Pastie.



Yeah it is one of the problems with this sort of communication. If that exchange had happened in the pub and fd had called Pastie gloomy and Pastie had then explained why, the things that were exchanged on here wouldn't have been said face to face.

That is not laying blame by the way. It happens on boards and all too quickly escalates. Look at the first few pages of this very thread to see a classic example.

I think it should be put down to a misunderstanding of the context of what was meant. I am sure that fd, like everyone else on here, wishes a positive outcome for Pastie's mum.
Come on you Tigers.
 
JLP
Site Admin
 
User avatar

 

Growing old disgracefully

      
 
Posts: 10262
Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:33 pm
Gender: Male
Has thanked: 7 times
Been thanked: 378 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby ice on fire » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:27 pm

More than anyone will ever know or understand, I was pretty hurt by recent comments directed at me. I know how easy it is for misunderstandings to happen, it wasn't the case for me.
 
ice on fire
 
User avatar

 
 

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby lord of all darkness » Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:37 pm

FD, you stick to your guns mate. You have nothing to apologise for. It was a clear misunderstanding about the word gloom. How was you to know that pasties mum was ill?

Btw i and everyone else i am sure wishes Pasties mum well.

Now Pastie, be a man and admit that you got it wrong and fd doesn't owe you an apology.
BAN them!
 
lord of all darkness
We Will Rock You
 
User avatar

 

You are a pussy! I said show me your war face!

      
 
Posts: 554
Images: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:41 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia = where it's warm and sunny.
Gender: Male
Has thanked: 27 times
Been thanked: 11 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby ice on fire » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:27 pm

Of course we all wish Pastie's mom the very best :bigups:. Hopefully there is no arguement about that.
 
ice on fire
 
User avatar

 
 

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby Belle Leisha » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:28 pm

fairydandy wrote:
Belle Leisha wrote:Pastiegate. :lol:

It looks like whoever apologises first is going to win this.


It's not really about winning Belle, it's about what is right and what is wrong. I am absolutely adamant that I have nothing to apologise for and I believe I have given a very full account of how I arrived at that decision above.

People daren't answer for fear of taking sides, but the evidence is all there. What is to apologise for?


Sorry man, I was just kidding. Well taking sides is generally a bad idea, but if you want my view, I don't know that it's about not wanting to take sides, so much as seeing both. Sometimes whatever started the argument gets lost in the barrage of insults that follows. Pastie was wrong to suggest his personal life had any bearing on your argument, no question, but at this point much more has been said than that. Pastie could back down and say he overreacted, and you could just apologise for causing offence, even where you didn't mean to. It seems a disproportionate level of annoyance on both sides for a minor misunderstanding, which could be solved by one or both of you swallowing your pride. I don't think up to this point, any apologies were owed, but now you both could really do with taking a step back and admitting you've let this go on too long.
But Eden is burning, either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage, of the changing of the guard


Image
 
Belle Leisha
Don't Stop Me Now
 
User avatar

 

I'm a Restless Kinda Girl, There's No Turning Back Now!

      
 
Posts: 4161
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:02 am
Location: Birmingham, UK
Gender: Female
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 0 time

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby Belle Leisha » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:30 pm

ice on fire wrote:More than anyone will ever know or understand, I was pretty hurt by recent comments directed at me. I know how easy it is for misunderstandings to happen, it wasn't the case for me.


I literally don't believe you're still bringing this up, in an argument which couldn't possibly have less to do with you.
But Eden is burning, either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage, of the changing of the guard


Image
 
Belle Leisha
Don't Stop Me Now
 
User avatar

 

I'm a Restless Kinda Girl, There's No Turning Back Now!

      
 
Posts: 4161
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:02 am
Location: Birmingham, UK
Gender: Female
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 0 time

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby lord of all darkness » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:39 pm

Belle Leisha wrote:
ice on fire wrote:More than anyone will ever know or understand, I was pretty hurt by recent comments directed at me. I know how easy it is for misunderstandings to happen, it wasn't the case for me.


I literally don't believe you're still bringing this up, in an argument which couldn't possibly have less to do with you.



Lol.
BAN them!
 
lord of all darkness
We Will Rock You
 
User avatar

 

You are a pussy! I said show me your war face!

      
 
Posts: 554
Images: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:41 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia = where it's warm and sunny.
Gender: Male
Has thanked: 27 times
Been thanked: 11 times

Re: It's time for a change of mods

Postby ice on fire » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:40 pm

It wasn't directed at you ;). I am involved in what is/was going on between Pastie and fd.
 
ice on fire
 
User avatar

 
 

PreviousNext

Return to Queenonline

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests